The First Step in the Spiritual Life

                                                                            By Victor Beshir

          The purpose of these spiritual topics is to offer a guide to help you come closer to God, and thus experience the utmost of His love in your life.  Experiencing His love would change your life dramatically.  So, the invitation here is to get a taste of the LORD, and once you have done this, you will be able to experience heaven while still living in the flesh.

 Now, let us read from the Gospel according to our teacher Saint Luke:

 Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood and prayed this with himself, ‘God I thank You that I am not like other men-extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this tax collector.  I fast twice a week; I gave tithes of all that I possess.  And the tax collector, standing afar off, would not so much as raise his eyes to heavens, but beat his breast, saying ‘God, be merciful to me a sinner!’  I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted. (Luke 18:10-14)

 Let’s begin these spiritual topics with this question:  What is the first step in Spiritual Life?

 As I said before, the first object of this book is to help each other grow spiritually.  Simply because if you have no spiritual life, you can’t lead others to Christ.  Therefore, the first job of this book is to help you with practical means that can lead you to the depth of the spiritual life, with the grace of God..

 The first step in starting a spiritual life is conviction.  You will reach this conviction when you realize that your eternal life and salvation are important.  At a certain time in your life, you will come to a conclusion that worldly happiness – no matter how much happiness it promises - is short and leaves your heart without inner peace.  You will discover that what the world offers doesn’t fill your heart and your life.  You will continue to search for a more fulfilling life. When you reach this conviction, you will feel that you have a need for Him in your life.

 You may have been one of those people who goes to church regularly, attend meetings, and perhaps perform services in the church, but so far you have not reached the kind of spiritual life you hear the preachers talk about.  You start to realize that only going to church does not lead you to what you are longing for spirituality.  You may say to yourself, "there should be a way to reach the peace and happiness that I heard about."  Absolutely, there are ways to do this, and God loves and likes to offer you the best way that is suitable for you.

 There are Christians who fight against sins, temptations, and evil with all their powers.  But sooner or later, they discover that their power is no match against the adversary.  Their hearts cry inside for help from a power which is larger than themselves.  They feel hopeless, powerless, and defeated.  When they reach that depth of helplessness, they realize their need for Him.

 So, whatever your situation is, the spiritual life must always start with a deep conviction.  You reach the conclusion that you have a great need for Him in your life and you can’t make it without Him.  You search for Him and reach out to Him unlike you’ve ever done before; this time with a great zeal that reflects the depth of your discovery.

 You find yourself searching for Him for certain reasons.  You need Him to forgive your sins.  You need Him to help you straighten up your life.  You need Him to defeat the spiritual enemy who made your life miserable.  You discovered that the world is in no position to give you life.  You found out that merely going to church and participating in its activities does not fill your heart.  Without a conviction similar to those mentioned here, there will be no real movement towards God.

 Usually, a mental conviction is accompanied by emotions and feelings.  Both push you towards God.  When you reach that point, you start looking for God everywhere until you find Him. You cease to become merely a church visitor or a participant in its activities.  You become a person who searches diligently for meeting God.   

 Practically, you need to convince yourself of you need Him to give you a fulfilling life and give you His grace to change your life.  Above all, you need His Holy Spirit to dwell continually inside you.  If your conviction of your need for Him is great, then your search for God’s grace will bring dramatic changes in your life that will last for a long time, and in most cases could remain for a lifetime.    

 Now, we go back to the above story about the Pharisee and the tax collector.  The Pharisee was a person who doesn’t feel that he needs God.  On the other hand, we meet the tax collector who was in great need for God.  He felt that he is a sinner and needs God’s forgiveness.  The Pharisee used to pray many times daily, as many of us pray today, and he used to go the temple and be a part of its activities, similar to what many of us do nowadays.  He was an authoritative man in religion, but unfortunately, he did not feel he needed God.  Consequently, he did not welcome the work of God in his life, which means he was left without justifications, grace, spiritual life, or any closeness to God.  So, while he was in the center of the religion, he was far away from a real spiritual life.  

 The tax collector was a man who had conviction of his wrong doings.  He realized that only God could forgive his sins and help him out of his sinful life. His mental conviction was accompanied by a great sense of humbleness, sorrow for his sins, and feeling of unworthiness even to raise his face to God.  As you can conclude from this story, a good conviction of the need to God is always joined by great feelings, emotions, zeal, and humbleness.  Our Lord said that the tax collector went down to his house justified, which means he was touched by the grace of God, rewarded the forgiveness of his sins, and was given a new life that put him in the right spiritual path.

 In summary, the conviction of needing Him is the beginning of a spiritual life. It is wonderful that the conviction is so great that it changes a person’s love once and for all.  Think about St. Augustine ’s conviction to change his lifestyle that took him from a sinful life to a monastic life, and then to become one of the greatest saints of the church.  Also, I like the conviction of St. Mary the Egyptian, who changed her life from an adulteress to going directly to the desert to live in repentance for the rest of her life.  She felt the sinfulness of her life, and her great need to spend the rest of her life in repentance to make up for the wasteful years she spent in sin.

 In addition, you don’t need the conviction that you need Him in the beginning of your spiritual life only, but this conviction should accompany you for the rest of your life.  It becomes the norms of your spiritual life.  It leads you to the humbleness that puts you at the beginning of the road and helps you to open the heavenly treasures of spirituality.  Moreover, if you loose this conviction in the future, you may loose your spiritual life again. 

 So, how can I start a spiritual life? Search yourself until you uncover your deepest need for God.  Once you know it, go forward to meet God as a person who is in great need.  The second question is, ‘how can I continue in a spiritual life? Take Him as your main objective in life.  Every time you meet Him or serve Him, feel the eminent need for Him and cry out for His help from the depths of your heart.

 This is what happened to the Fathers of the Church as well.  They lived hungry and thirsty for God, and they felt a great need to be attached to Him every day and every hour of their lives. They even left the entire world to live in the wilderness alone, so they will not be disturbed by other things that might take them away from God, whom they loved so dearly.  Finally, remember the Lord’s words “For without me you can do nothing” (John 15:5)