Since
the beginning of time, the family was in God's mind. God created
Adam and Eve so they could "multiply and grow to fill the earth
"Genesis 3:20. "Now the man called his wife's name Eve, because
she was the mother of all the living." Even before Creation God
had the family concept in mind through the Trinity, which is God
the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit-- One God.
In
the Holy Gospel according to St. Mark, the Lord Jesus says that
the man and woman become one flesh when married and they are united
by God's grace, for the Lord Jesus says, "What therefore God has
joined together, let no man put asunder." So the most important
aspect of family love is the unity through God. The reason why the
family must be united through God to have love is because "God is
love," The fourth commandment says, "Honor your father and your
mother." Hence obedience from within the family is a necessity as
well. If a family follows God's commandments, they will abide in
love (John 15:10), and by abiding in love, they will have God in
the midst of them for "where two or more are gathered in My name,
there I will be in the midst of them."
God
is love, He loved us and He wanted to share His Creation with us
and He accepted to endure and come to save us when we, the sinners
committed a sin against Him. He was born from a family like us "St
Joseph & St Mary" (Genesis 17:16). "I will bless her, and indeed
I will give you a Son by her. Then I will bless her, and she shall
be a mother of nations; kings of peoples will come from her." How
great is this love, You oh Lord the one that is sinless accepted
to be born and become one like us. Although He could have descended
on His own, He shared our weak nature and supported the family concept.
The
Holy Bible shows us lots of stories about family love with its true
meaning. This word love was so complex, the ancient Greeks differentiated
three aspects of love: Philos, Eros, and Agape. Philos is the attraction
characterized by deep, enduring friendship; Eros, a passionate sexual
attraction; and agape, the self-sacrificing, non- demanding spiritual
satisfaction a person feels when providing for the other. The latter
of the three will be the focus of this paper, with relation to a
family.
The
greatest love of all was shown to us on the Cross. God the Father
sacrificed Himself on the Cross for his children.
Another
form of love is how a father sacrifices his son for the love of
God This example of love within the family is evident in the life
of Abraham and Sarah. One day God came to Abraham and said, "Take
now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee
into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering
upon one of the mountains." (Genesis 22:2) Without hesitation, Abraham
followed God's commandment; however, after seeing his love for God,
God stopped him and gave him a ram instead. So it's evident that
not only does Abraham love God, but Isaac as well; Isaac didn't
stop Abraham from slaying him. Besides their love for God, another
factor is also important and that is Isaac's obedience. Although
Abraham and Isaac's story is of the extreme, it should be a lesson
for all those starting a family for it teaches two of the most vital
aspects of family success: love and obedience.
Another
form of love is evident when the Lord Jesus was asked by the mother
of St James and St John, the sons of Zebedee, for her two sons to
sit, one at His right hand and one at His left hand (Matt. 20:20-21).
There is a sociological phrase called the "exchange theory" which
simply states that humans do things for a reward, benefit, or in
exchange for an advantage, usually toward themselves. Like a good
mother, the love of a family was so strong that she wanted the reward
for her sons rather than herself.
God
promises us mercy when He says, "And above all things have fervent
love for one another for love will cover a multitude of sins" (1Pet
4:8). Therefore we should all love one another and let brotherly
love continue (Heb.13:1), in order to be granted eternal life and
a place in Heaven with the saints who have pleased God since the
beginning and had complete love for all. Without family love we
will not be able to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. For how can we
dwell Eternally in Heaven with others that we do not love? It would
be a total irony; therefore family love is a very serious and demanded
key for eternal life. Without this love we lack God in our hearts.
His teachings were to live in love as one.
Families
are the primary source of love, joy, warmth, and togetherness in
our lives. And yet, family life is also full of many challenging
problems and conflicts. Man and woman have lived harmoniously, creating
families and being "fruitful and multiplying." (Genesis 1:28) When
we look at the love of a family, we see it is different from any
other type of love. They will have God in the midst of them for
"where two or more are gathered in My name, there I will be in the
midst of them."
Till
this day, the family in the Christian concept is like a small Church,
according to St. Paul "to Philemon our beloved friend and fellow
laborer, and to the church in your house"(Phil 1:2) and we all know
that the Church is the House of God. God made sure that we gather
in His house as one, Communion together as one, when the whole family
is gathered around the One Body and Blood of the Lord Jesus Christ.
The Church is the bigger family, the Lord says, "Therefore if you
bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother
has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar,
and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come
and offer your gift (Matt. 5:23-24). We are one body, what if one
member in your body decided that it wants out? What will it do alone?
How will the rest of the body functions without this member?
However,
matters have changed; approximately one out of every two marriages
ends in divorce. Consequently, many children have grown up without
a father or mother, or sometimes neither and don't have any idea
of what family love constitutes. Many sociologists have even claimed
that the increase in crimes is due to lack of family structure.
Yet, it doesn't require a scholar to determine this fact, for the
Lord Jesus said, "Every house which is divided against itself shat
not stand" (Matt. 12:25). So what is a family and more specifically,
family love?
We
live in a society that calls the religious people "weirdoes" and
those who are practicing lesbian and gays as exercising "freedom
of sexual preference". The Image is distorted, as we are starting
to drift. We want to live independent, away from our families, to
be like the prodigal son. Although we know he will go back to the
bosom of his father after he suffers. Why go away from church to
look for our identity? Why do we need to forget to honor our father
and mother? What happened to respect to elders and respect to parent's
opinion? Wasn't she your mother, when you were afraid, or hurt,
and didn't you run to her for shelter and comfort? Isn't that embarrassing
to do if you are a teen-ager these days? It is all right to run
to the arms of the world, seeking guidance from lost people that
they call boy friend or girl friend!!! Yes, this is indeed the"
Blind leading the blind."
As
we gain experience in life we understand our parent's reasoning
and having full trust in them. One day a Captain took his daughter
sailing on his ship, in the middle of the night when all the passengers
were asleep, a big storm started, the ship started to rock very
hard. All the passengers panicked, except for the little girl. She
approached a sailor, and asked him "Is my dad still driving the
ship" the sailor replied "yes". She went back to her room and slept
through this storm.
However,
parents may have set their children's investments to be such a high
priority. At times we get angry with our family when an outcome
does not go our way. Family love is vital for our success in this
society. Our parents were brought up with great morals and values
that taught them how to raise our society's youth. They brought
us in this world as one family and want us to stay this way it is
the circle of life. Love for our siblings is vital. Once upon a
time, a father gathered his sons before he died. He collected some
wood sticks and asked each of them to break them, they all did.
So he got a bunch of sticks tied them together and asked them again
to break it but none of them could break the bunch this time. He
looked into their eyes and told them that it is easy to break if
we are on our own; each one for himself, but when we are together
it is much harder to break. This shows you that each one of us is
strong on his own, but how about if he is with his family? How many
of us can stand out in the crowds and show that our love to our
families surpasses our love for our selves. How many of us can show
affection to those who raised us? How many of us can say no, I will
never leave my fathers house?
Family
love paves our roads to success, excuses our differences. Sometimes
we wonder why God gave us such conflicting personalities. It seems
like everything we do relates back to the amount of love that is
within the family. Who we are and what we become can be traced to
the family. Who we become also lies greatly on our interaction between
our family and ourselves. What morals and values we have grasped
in our family will be taken down to the next generation. Perfect
love is the ability to give without receiving. Family love is all
about giving.
