Coptic Orthodox Diocese of the Southern United States
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I have been moved in the Sunday School service from the 2nd grade class to the middle school girls class; and I need advice on some issues in this service.

Do I have to share with the other two servants the private things I come to learn about the girls? If I visit one girl, do I have to tell the other servants I'm visiting them? I don't want to do anything that will cause my co-servant and Abouna to think I'm acting behind their back. And I don't want to disobey Abouna. I just want to understand how I can serve, where and when do I have the authority to act,  what are my limits, and how to understand God's will for me.

A middle school servant not only helps the children grow and mature spiritually, but also should develop a personal relationship with them, which is different from elementary school children. Each one of us has received a gift to use in our service; it could be a gift of encouraging beside a life of praying, and a dedication for visitation. The Holy Spirit enlightens our minds and hearts to use this gift.  

If you find out something about one of the girls, you do not have to tell the others. But being a new servant in middle school you will encounter situations that you might need advice on. Do not put heavy burdens on yourself; it will not be violation of confidentiality if you ask open questions without mentioning names.  

You need also to sit down with Abouna, and your co-servant, and discuss matters with them. Since you are new in the class, your co-servant knows what is going on.  

With regards to your co-servant, do not put obstacles in your relationship depending on other people's opinion. She is older, and has more experience in serving middle school. Whenever you are in a situation where someone is talking about her, do not loose your peace, but say a good word on her behalf.

Visitation is an integral part of service; you should visit all the girls. It is advisable to go with another servant, but you can consider case by case. One of the missions of the church is the ministry of the lost sheep. You just need to be careful not to give complete attention to one girl excluding the others. Also, you have to be careful that you do not get too close that you could fall in some kind of temptation, or loose your peace.

Pray for your service, and ask for guidance from the Holy Spirit. Maturing in your spiritual life will give you self confidence. You might see things differently than what they really are. Do not question your actions once you have prayed to God for guidance and have had spiritual direction.  
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