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I bought a book called “Orthodox Prayer Life”. Would you recommend this book? I started reading it a few years ago and I found it very difficult to understand but I wanted to begin reading it again. I also got the book “Characteristics of the Spiritual Path”, which I have started and love.



Also, I am wondering, what exactly should be the point of reading and trying to gain more knowledge. Is it so that I can personally know more about Christ and His salvation, or so that I can share it with others? I have certain uneasiness in my heart, and I cannot tell whether this feeling is from the Holy Spirit warning me to slow down or from Satan trying to discourage me from coming closer to Christ.


In general, for whatever reason, I have concerns, apprehensions, and worries in regards to my spiritual life. I feel overwhelmed, yet obligated to become a serious Christian. I have been seriously trying to improve my spiritual life for about a month now (abstaining from carnal behavior, reading the Holy Bible, praying daily, and going to church as much as possible). Yet, for some reason, I still feel empty when I sit by myself in a room. I want to be self-sufficient (with Christ as my provider), emotionally, mentally, and spiritually speaking. I mean that I want to be able to be completely apart from other people, but be content with Christ in my heart. The last thing I want to do is to give up and go back to a carnal life, tormented by the matters of the world. I am a person who greatly desires the company of others, but as I have discovered, people always seem to disappoint. I am aware that God, and only God, is the one entity that will never betray us or leave us empty-handed. How can I access this grace that so many have enjoyed (the grace that only God can provide)?

Your goal is spiritual maturity and edification. Either you are internally motivated for this knowledge, or by reading this literature you will gain further insight into your goals and motives, which will hopefully inspire you towards your intended goals of genuine spiritual knowledge and personal growth. In either case, you stand to grow from the experience and spirituality of these writers. Since you have started reading the "Characteristics of the Spiritual Life" and are content with this book at this time, there is no reason to simultaneously try to take on a more complex book such as the "Orthodox Prayer Life." That is not to say you should not read it at all, but it is better to savor the discerning lessons each book has to offer and to contemplate on each inner message for your own edification, one book at a time. The knowledge you obtain is first and foremost to be applied in your own life and with the people to whom you are the closest. You will discover that drawing closer to God will help you to not be disappointed with the faults of others, but rather will help you to embrace them with compassion. No love, acceptance, loyalty, and any other emotion can compare to God's infinite wisdom and unconditional appreciation of His children. It is through Him that we do not become disappointed at the shortcomings of others, but must rather strive to be more understanding and patient. These virtues and others will be revealed in spiritual literature and can help you to grow into a more responsible spiritually-minded and spiritually-active person. Monastics set a great example of having removed themselves from the world, but remain most gracious to their visitors and even with strangers. It is to your benefit to see Christ in everyone around you. The main purpose of much of the spiritual literature is not only for knowledge sake, but also to guide the reader to a more complete and rich relationship with God and with others, through God.
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