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Should a servant demand respect from the ones he serves? A high school student whom I teach is a good kid. However, he oftentimes shows disrespect without realizing it with regards to the way that he talks and his demeanor towards me. I had noticed it before but did not give it much thought until others had pointed it out to me and said that I should do something about it. My question then becomes, do I need to? Is it just pride from my side of wanting his respect?

Addressing your observation of the student's disrespectful attitude directly with him in a loving and respectful way is a valuable lesson for both of you as a learning experience in conflict resolution. There may be a few different theories as to why his behavior is inappropriate toward you.

  1. Revenge - You may have offended or embarrassed him somehow.
  2. Displacement - This is an unconscious psychological mechanism whereby the individual directs his negative emotions from the real source of the problem, i.e., someone more hostile or intimidating to someone who is considered in his mind to be a 'safe' target upon which to dump these negative feelings, anger, or frustrations.
  3. Peer Pressure - The student may be trying to achieve some kind status amongst his peers by being non-compliant.
  4. Subconscious - He is not aware of his behavior and is just being a 'kid'.
  5. Something else.

I recommend you address the situation directly with him, either by a personal visit to his home, after class, or if his parents permit, then maybe take him out to lunch and discuss. Addressing the situation directly gives you the upper hand whereby you regain some control and reinforce your willingness to work through this situation. It is a lesson in humility for him as well, that his servant has gone the extra mile to reconcile with him. In addition, it will also teach him the value of striving to improve relationships and learn skills for effective communication, rather than acting out negative emotions.

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