I am truly struggling with Love and BEARING WITH MY PARENTS. I am the worst kid ever by not following the commandments, but my parents always discourage me so much to the point that I lose hope (which is the state I am in right now). I felt God trying to work within me but I departed from Him and continued with my frustration. Right now, I do not feel God anymore and I have all these mixed feelings ranging from never serving at church again to other great negative thoughts. I really want peace and to be able to have the love, humility, and patience of the Lord. What shall I do? I truly feel lonely with no help and with no friends to talk to. Please answer.
God is not the reason of your problems. Most often, relational issues are not one-sided. Each side can explain their perspective with complete innocence. Rather than putting the blame on your parents, your church, or others, begin seeking peace in your heart by practicing the virtue of forgiveness. Read 1 Corinthians 6:9-10; Galatians 5:19-21; Revelation 21:7-8; Revelation 22:15 to understand how some will not inherit the kingdom of God by choice, not by God's will. All the sins mentioned in these passages can be forgiven, and thus, the same sinner can inherit the kingdom of heaven, if this same sinner learns to forgive others their trespass. Forgiveness will produce humility, and humility will bring you closer to God.
Therefore, focus seriously and sincerely on the Lord's Prayer, "... and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us..." When this prayer becomes the focal point of your life everyday, you will find peace and be a friend to many. You will also be able to love and expect nothing in return, but God's grace will be sufficient for you, as the Lord said to St. Paul to comfort him, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9).