Coptic Orthodox Diocese of the Southern United States
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I'm allowing sin to have dominion over me and I don't know how to really have a repentant heart. I also don't feel comfortable enough to regularly speak with any priests that I know. I promised myself that I would not let this season go by without doing this. Could you  please offer me any advice?

There is a difference between confession and repentance. It seems to me that what you used to do regularly was to confess, as a duty, but without repentance. Repentance should always precede confession. Sin separates us from God and repentance is the way to return to God. St Paul says, "Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body, that you should obey it in its lusts. And do not present your members as instruments of unrighteousness to sin, but present yourselves to God as being alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God. For sin shall not have dominion over you, for you are not under law but under grace" (Rom 6:12-14). Sin will not have dominion over us if we have a renewed pure heart. Repentance is a divine act of God inside man as He promised "Then I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you shall be clean; I will cleanse you from all your filthiness and from all your idols. I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh" (Ezek 36:25-26).

Repentance should not be for the love of righteousness, nor for shame or fear. True repentance is to resent sin from all your heart and your mind for the Love of God, His commandment and His heavenly kingdom.

To have a repentant heart one needs a spiritual awakening. One has to come back to oneself, examine oneself, and activate one’s conscience. Do not use excuses or justify your sins. Do not procrastinate.  Once you identify your sin and feel remorseful, do not harden your heart but act upon it, repent, and confess. Keep yourself away from the temptations, and all things that might make you stumble. Most importantly keep the purity of the heart. Train yourself to have a good eye "The lamp of the body is the eye. Therefore, when your eye is good, your whole body also is full of light. But when your eye is bad, your body also is full of darkness" (Lk 11:34). Do not let your flesh have power over you "For the flesh lusts against the Spirit and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish" (Gal 5:17).

Being uncomfortable to confess to a priest is a sign that you are ashamed of your sin and do not want to share it with anyone even the priest. If you cannot face the priest, how can you face God Who is all-knowing. Our Lord Who was crucified for you, is waiting for the moment you acknowledge His great sacrifice, repent and return to Him. Do not let Him wait for you but act immediately. When you go for confession, do not think of the priest as a person who will judge you, but as a representative of our God Who is forgiving and merciful.

To know more about repentance and to prepare yourself for a spiritual life read
http://www.suscopts.org/messages/lectures/sacrament14.pdf
The Meaning of "Worthy to Partake of the Holy Communion".
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