Coptic Orthodox Diocese of the Southern United States
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I serve Sunday school with someone who has been trying to alienate me from service. Unfortunately he is close to Abouna. He had annoyed me through a lot of incidents, which I tried to forget for the sake of continuing serving. Then I changed classes and started teaching a lower grade. However, ever since then, I have felt that Abouna is treating me differently, with unwelcoming, discouraging non verbal messages as if I was irresponsible and immature. It hurts a lot to feel that abouna has such a bad idea about me and treats me that way, which has also built a barrier between him and me. I could be wrong in what I am feeling, but even in confession, I feel that Abouna is not listening to me and that I am getting answers not related to my questions. What can I do?

It is hard sometimes to feel misunderstood and to be thought of as for example irresponsible and immature. However, from what you wrote I see that all your conclusions are based on feelings and impressions. There is no open dialogue either with the Sunday school servant or with Abouna. Even if this person is very close to Abouna, Abouna is the father of all and you are his child as much as this person is. Do not be intimidated by this person's position. You yourself said you do not know why he is treating you the way you think he does. Have you ever talked to him about it?

How did you arrive at the conclusion that Abouna is treating you differently? In what WAY does he treat you? You say that it is all non verbal signals. Abouna is a father and is your confessor father, so can you think of a reason why he would not tell it directly to you if he disapproves of something?

If Abouna has never said anything to you, how can you assume that he has a bad idea about you?

Who is building a barrier between you and Abouna?

The best thing to do now is to go to Abouna and talk to him as a father and a friend, telling him exactly how you feel. Tell him the whole story, your reasons for changing classes, and ask him his opinion. Rest assured that if you are behaving in a good Christian way and serving the Lord with all your heart, you should not worry about anything else, because God sees everything and he alone knows the truth and is the ultimate Truth.
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