Coptic Orthodox Diocese of the Southern United States

Have Sought You Anxiously


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Keraza Magazine issue 33-34 August 21, 2015

The Holy Bible only preserved very few expressions by St. Mary; those recorded come from four events. First is her conversation with the angel during the Annunciation. Second is her praise in the hearing of Elizabeth. Third was when Jesus remained in Jerusalem, when Virgin Mary and St. Joseph searched for Him for three days until they finally found Him in the temple. Here she beseeched Him with a very short expression that conveys all the emotions of longing and sorrow: "Son, why have You done this to us? Look, Your father and I have sought You anxiously" (Luke 2:48). The fourth was at the wedding in Cana of Galilee.

St. Mary resembles the human soul that passes through all the stages of struggle along the spiritual path until Christ is formed in her, is born of her, and she unites with Him so that it is not she who lives but Christ who lives in her. Consequently, it was necessary for divine revelation to mention this specific event in the Holy Bible, out of all the thousands of events that occurred in the life of St. Mary, this event being very valuable for our salvation, since it resembles an important stage along our spiritual path.

St. Mary, after all the hardships she endured, beginning from Joseph doubting her, the pain of giving birth in a cattle manger, the flight to Egypt, and caring for the Child Jesus for twelve years during which He did not depart from her eyes, suddenly He disappears from before her! Being in His presence had become the mystery of her joy, the spring of her peace, and the source of her safety, in an instant she looks around her and does not find Him: "They did not find Him" (Luke 2:45).

Oh, that you would tell me, my mother, the mystery of those three days! Who but you would inform me, since you traversed them twice: once with Joseph after twelve years of living with Jesus, and another with the disciples and the Maries after your Son's death and before His resurrection? Please tell me, Oh Virgin of the Song, did you scream in bitterness on those days: "My heart leaped up when he spoke. I sought him, but I could not find him; I called him, but he gave me no answer" (Song of Solomon 5:6)! Please tell me, Oh Harp of David, how did He answer you when you bewailed Him in tears: "When shall I come and appear before God" (Psalm 42:2)?

Oh my mother, what torture was this that you endured when Jesus disappeared from your sight, such that once you found Him, you instantly cried out complaining of your torture? Is it the torture of rebuking the soul and blaming her so long as her old man is doubtless the cause of His concealment from her? Is it the sorrow of longing and desire to meet a beloved, for Whom the soul thirsts in a dry and thirsty land? Is it the pain of a soul heavy-laden with the futility and vanity of an existence void of the Light of Christ? Is it the torture of a mind that walks according to faith and not according to sight?

Was recalling the words of the angel, Elizabeth, the shepherds, the Wise Men, Simeon the Elder, and Anna the Prophetess able to give you comfort and faith? Were you able to exchange His real presence for the foreshadowing of His presence found in the prophecies and signs? Was Joseph, whom heaven appointed to care for you (who also shared in your torture and puzzlement at the absence of your Son), able to give you comfort and consolation?

My mother, Oh, that you would answer our puzzling questions, being an intercessor, an aid, and a guide to all who pass through the mystery of the torture of those three days, so that once we find Him, as you found Him, we may chant joyfully along with you, "I held him and would not let him go" (Song of Solomon 3:4).

Bishop Youssef
Bishop, Coptic Orthodox Diocese of the Southern United States


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