One Body and One Spirit
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"But from the beginning of the creation, God 'made them male and female.' 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, 'and the two shall become one flesh'; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh" (Mark 10:6-8).
When God unites man and woman in Holy Matrimony, they become something more than their individual human beings. They become one body and for the body to function in harmony, the body parts need to have good communication with each other. Marriage between two individuals coming from different backgrounds with their own ideas, logic, feelings, gifts can be a very exciting thing. But it can also be hard work for both husband and wife. Lack of communication (nagging, inappropriate responses, fighting, bickering) can eventually lead to many problems in marriage.
Good Communication
Good communication requires many elements (loving relationship, understanding one another, patience, humility, and forgiveness). This will enable the couple to:
- Support each other emotionally
- Share problems together
- Encourage each other
- Express oneself
- Listen to each others ideas
- Have a positive impact on the children
- Share dreams
- Be happy and content
- Gain your spouse's cooperation
- Create teamwork
- Create harmony in the marriage
What Types of Issues Require Communication?
- Household chores
- Household responsibilities
- Financial status
- Taking care of the children
- Children responsibilities and boundaries
- Husband's interests
- Wife's interests
- Joyful memories they shared together
- Couple's dreams
- Problem that arise
"Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and like wise also the wife to her husband" (1 Corinthians 7:3).
Ways to Love Your Wife Her Way and Make Her Feel Important to You
- Listen to what she is trying to say to you
- Value what she says
- Understand her feelings
- Show her affection and be gentle with her
- Discuss with her important changes
- Have a special outing for both of you
- Reserve special time as a family
- Appreciate what she does for you and the children
- Be forgiving when situations become out of hand
- Give her time off for herself away from the children
- Try to get rid of the habits that bother her
- Make an extra effort to help around the house without being asked
- Show her how much you love her
- Find out what she likes (when you give her a gift)
Likewise the Wife Has a Duty to Her Husband
- Submit to your husband: If you love and honor God you should respect your husband unconditionally. That does not mean you can not have opinions but the last word should be his.
- Show affection: Men are deeply attracted to those who notice them, regard them, honor them, admire them, and love them.
- Show appreciation: For his hard work, when he helps around the house, and when he takes care of the children
- Give him time to himself: To relax, read, watch his favorite sport
- Be aware of his interests: Showing him that you care about his interests will help him share his interests with you
- Use your feminine side: Be kind, gentle, and loving
- Make special efforts to understand and meet his needs
- Look for creative ways to discuss your needs with your spouse
- Seek his opinion and approval
- Motivate your husband to talk and listen to you
- Pray for God to grant him wisdom
How to Communicate When Situations Arise?
- Find a good time to talk without interruption
- Calmly describe the situation at hand
- Do everything with respect
- Be a good listener and don't interrupt
- Reflect back on what you understood
- State your opinion and your feelings
- Brainstorm together to find the best solution
- Choose the best solution
- Appreciate your spouse's personal contributions
"Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respect her husband" (Ephesians 5:33).
Finally, being tired and irritable all the time will not help you to have successful communications with your spouse or with the children. There is nothing wrong with having passion about what you do at home (housework, hobby, interest) or at work (working hard to get ahead). But our priority should be toward our spouse and our children. There is no amount of success worth the loss of your family.
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