> Family Problems
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I am 18 years old and recently my mother and I got in a huge argument. I was complaining about how I didn't like the way she raised me very strictly and was very hard on my brother and me. These words bothered her and she started crying. She raised her voice at me and I left. I could hear her yelling and calling me very bad things. I acknowledge that what I did was wrong and a very bad sin. I know the Bible's teaching is disrespect of one's parents is a serious sin punishable by death and I will confess this sin to my father of confession. I don't deserve her forgiveness and I am at fault here. But she when called me extremely bad names, it makes me question if this is really someone who cares about me. What do you think of the situation?
I skipped school one day and my parents found out. They yelled at me, not knowing that it is a common thing to skip school. Well! my dad who has an anger problem, hit me and threatened to kill me. I got so mad and reported to a program called STARS. The lady in charge, reported the case, and also told the cops in school. Somebody from the police department, I believe, came and took pictures of the bruise I had on my knee. Now I have this really stupid feeling inside of me. But I really can't take it anymore because to me and to the law this is abuse. My parents are so strict, I'm not allowed to go anywhere or do anything with my friends in school or in church; only with certain college ones who are older than me. Iam 15 years old. They do not understand that I need to be around friends my own age. Well! now I do not know what I should do, but Iam not feeling too good about any of this; I just meant to teach them a lesson. I'm not sure if I could take the report back or not.
It has been years now that my parents do not talk to each other nor acknowledge each other's existence in the house in which we all live. Curses, hatred, misunderstanding and rejection are the predominant feelings and behavior towards my mom. This has affected my life negatively. The main problem now is that I find it easier to deal with my mom and sister than with my dad which resulted in him thinking I hate him. I don't want my dad to be upset, I want to keep the commandment "honor your father and your mother". Could Your Grace help me out?
My dad goes out of town, and is always busy with his work and many other things. When my sister and I have a problem with my dad, he doesn't really listen and is very hard to talk to, It is useless, either my sister or myself, trying to talk to him or even convince him . For example I was sick last night with a temperature of 103. Therefore, I was not able to go camping with my Girls Scouts. Then when I got better, my friend, my sister, and I planned to go to the movies instead. My dad refused saying that if I were strong enough to go to the movies; I might as well go camping. The doctor said that I was not able to do anything this weekend. Although I do not enjoy going on the camping trips, I agreed to go because I thought that was the condition my father has put in order to allow me to go to the movies. When this didn’t work out, my sister and I cancelled the movies. I called my dad to let him know about my last decision, not knowing that he would force me to go on the camping trip. Then I had to explain the situation to my friend's mom who called my dad. After half an hour trying to convince him, he agreed to let me not go camping but asked me to return home from my friend’s house where I was staying. My friend had a test to take on the computer and needed to take it at her house, so now she would go to her house and take the test and THEN come back to our house. Despite all this confusion, we said ok. So I would like to hear your opinion about this, and tell me if I am doing something wrong because I try my hardest to keep everyone happy.
My family is fighting all the time and I am very troubled by this, what can I do?
My mother has left my father and been to Egypt without telling him. It has been roughly a year and a half next month since they have been separated. She is now back after having spent nine months in Cairo. Since May of 2002, I have spoken to my father briefly, and we do not seem to agree. He seems to think that my mother left because I was not successful at the university level and that she uses him as an excuse and so on. Basically what I am trying to say is that several arguments and discussion with my father through time did not yield to anything. He asks for answers, but unless you give him the answer that he wants to hear you are a liar. I am so cold with him, and don't want to tell him anything. I don't feel that I should as long as the root of the problem is there.
Numerous priests and a bishop have mediated trying to solve the overall problem; unfortunately they were not able to get to my dad. I have heard numerous suggestions and tried them. ..The bishop I spoke to thinks my father has hallucination and that he might be suffering from chemical unbalance.
My dad thinks I am to blame for their separation because I have done what I can to support my mother, providing accommodation for her before her return from Egypt.
I am not sure who to talk to anymore, since the people that I do talk to, I think have run out of advice. If you could please try to give me some insight, on the issue of not talking to my dad, when is it ok and when is it not? I think that is the main thing for me, and also about answering my mom, about her question "If father was to change his thinking would I mind her going back or not?" I don't feel comfortable answering it; am I right?
I really appreciate you taking the time to read this message even when it does not make sense. I do realize that it would be greatly helpful to have a fixed spiritual father to talk to about this, but it is hard when you see so many Abounas mediating and failing. So please any input will be greatly appreciated. Thank you, and please remember me in your prayers.
When I do something wrong my mom says "God take her, you never listen to me" I just confessed on Sunday and I'm already causing trouble in the house. I really don't feel good about myself right now. I really want to change, but it's really hard especially for me.
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