Coptic Orthodox Diocese of the Southern United States
   A  B  C  D  E  F  G  H  I  J  K  L  M  N  O  P  Q  R  S  T  U  V  W  X  Y  Z

I am planning to get married this year, yet I have been wondering about the meaning of, and aim behind marriage and having kids. Does this mean I do not love the person I am getting married to?

"Blessed is every one who fears the Lord, Who walks in His ways. When you eat the labor of your hands, you shall be happy, and it shall be well with you. Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine in the very heart of your house, your children like olive plants all around your table. Behold, thus shall the man be blessed who fears the Lord. The Lord bless you out of Zion, and may you see the good of Jerusalem all the days of your life. Yes, may you see your children's children. Peace be upon Israel" (Psalm 128).

In God's benevolence and generosity, He has provided for all of humanity's needs and desires. He is always interested in our earnest effort to walk in His ways and sensitive to our weaknesses and temptations. There are three acceptable options Christians have before them in order to live a holy and chaste life: marriage, consecrated celibacy, or monasticism: God's words to Adam and all human generations after him,: "And the Lord God said, 'It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him" (Genesis 2:18). Marriage is an exceptional sacrament which originated in the Garden of Eden: "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall be become one flesh" (Genesis 2:24).

St. Paul chose and promoted celibacy; while at the same time acknowledging a real and honest goal for marriage: "Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to the husband...For I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that…But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion" (1 Corinthians 7:2-9).

The establishment of the monastic movement founded by St. Anthony the Great was based on our Lord Jesus Christ's words: "If you want to be perfect, go, sell what you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me" (Matthew 19:21). Although many heard the same reading that day, St. Antony knew it applied to him and pursued his calling.

Having all these questions in your mind does not mean you don't love that person. I think it means you are searching for a deeper meaning of life which in reality is a search for God Himself. Godly marriage is our road to heaven; because in marriage we learn how to be one with the other which is an important step towards learning how to be one with God. In marriage we learn how to sacrifice for our children which is an important step in sacrificing our life for God.
Home | Ask A Question | Search Q&A