Coptic Orthodox Diocese of the Southern United States
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I have in front of me 3 women in the church in whom I am interested. From their conduct with their friends, their attendance in church, their families, and their relationship to the church, I assume that their lives are close to God. I cannot see their relationship with God other than from what I have seen from outside. I am puzzled by the decision of who would be right for me. I have prayed and will continue to pray about this decision. However, I want to know will God close a door to some of them until I am convinced that one of them is the right one? In other words, will God reveal to me things about them so that there will only be one who is appropriate for me? How do I find out what their personal life with God is like? I know that looks may be deceiving, but I want to dig deeper to find out more about the person without getting into a deep relationship where if it doesn't work out, I don't hurt her feelings. My father of confession has told me to get to know someone and he thinks I am ready emotionally and spiritually for a relationship, and in time, financially.

Marriage includes a great deal of friendship, laughter, ability to share thoughts, respectful disagreements, admiration, and unconditional love. With whom do you feel most comfortable? Who do you feel reciprocates your admiration at the same mature level? Whose personality, sense of humor, spiritual focus, and temperament is compatible with yours? With whom do you enjoy to keep company? Godís Gods' voice can often be heard in the answers to these questions. Marriage cannot be about breaking a tie amongst candidates and God opening and closing doors.

If you are at a standstill and cannot choose amongst three women which one is most suitable for you, then perhaps, none of them are. The right mate for you is the one whom will stand out the most. She will comprise everything that you are seeking in a spouse, providing that your desires are pure and reasonable. There can only be one woman whom your heart will favor and with whom you will desire to seek a deep companionship leading to Holy Matrimony. For Jacob, it was only Rachel who won his heart. Having been tricked into marrying Leah, still he always favored Rachel, because he loved her. You may desire various attributes in many women, but you can only really love just one woman.
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