Coptic Orthodox Diocese of the Southern United States
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My fiancé confessed to me that a long time ago he lost his virginity. He regrets it, and has confessed and repented. I know he loves the Lord and I told him I still love him. Should I ask him if he has ever been tested for HIV or other STDs (sexually transmitted diseases)? If he hasn’t, should I ask him to get tested now? I do not want to hurt him.

Although it may seem awkward or insensitive for you to ask your fianc if he has ever been tested for HIV or other STDs, it is better that you ask now than later. It is your right to know. This does not mean that you are judging him on his past indiscretion or former sins, but since the results from these previous incidences may impact your future together, or may make you uncomfortable in marital intimacy, it is better to clear the air now, rather than having your thoughts or discomfort be manifested in some misinterpreted way later, and possibly cause marital discord in the future. If you present your concerns in a kind, respectful, and reassuring manner, he should not be offended but willingly comply by having the necessary tests, so you may be free to proceed with your plans for marriage with complete confidence.
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