Coptic Orthodox Diocese of the Southern United States
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With the help of God, I got engaged to a great girl. My parents worry a lot about everything, and they always tell me to be careful and to test the girl very well before marriage, which is correct, and I am convinced with that. My only problem is that the worrying of my parents started making me worried as well. I personally think that the girl is great and she treats me very nicely and loves me from all her heart. Are my feelings of worrying normal? Or this is an abnormal feeling?

I am not sure I understand what 'testing' her is all about and why you are convinced to go about this relationship in this manner? The pre-engagement period and the formal engagement period are the opportunities for you to get to know each other better. In the process, there is no doubt that you will discover some character traits that are great and some that are not so great. This is normal and so there is no need for you to worry. What you need to consider when you have some question is if you can deal with each other's imperfections. It is not a matter of realizing that she has some imperfections or flaws, because everyone has them, even you. What you both need to ask yourselves is if you can work through these issues or are they too deeply embedded and irritating? You should not feel like she must become someone else to please you or that you must pretend to be someone else in order to please her. There is no need to approach your relationship as a series of tests, but as the relationship evolves, you will face various challenges and decision-making that will help you to understand each other better and decide whether or not your imperfections have the potential to interfere on a close and loving marital relationship in a long and blessed future as husband and wife.

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