Coptic Orthodox Diocese of the Southern United States
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I've been in this relationship for about two years and engaged for a little over half a year. My fiancé and I are in the process of planning our wedding and we bought an apartment. During the two years, we've had a few arguments concerning monasticism and whether or not it was God's will for him to pursue this path. It was never clear—hence the reason we got engaged. In one of his recent trips to the monastery, he claims to have felt an attraction and is now debating which path to follow. In one of your earlier answers, you stated that if there is no clear urge to leave everything, then monasticism isn't the path to follow. Can you please advise me on how to deal with this situation and what to do? I am not sure whether I have to wait around for him or not. 

Two years of an engagement period is ample time to discover more about yourselves and each other, and determine if the relationship needs to continue to the next level, which is the holy sacrament of matrimony. If your fianc is still having doubts about his personal life and the possibility of monasticism, then you need to demand a final answer. If he is truly called to the monastic life, then he needs to heed to that call with certainty. The same holds true if he is called to holy matrimony. Both are blessed vocations to the Lord. The response to the call of monasticism is similar to an engagement. It cannot be based on occasional visits to a monastery or mere attraction. One does not propose or become engaged to someone based on an attraction, but rather based on prayer and the discovery of real compatibility. Your fianc cannot be enamored by two different callings. Monasticism requires the same seriousness and devotion as a marriage proposal. When the great St. Anthony saw a woman in a pond as he traveled, he stopped to question her about her lack of modesty before a monk. She responded that the burden is upon him to go further into the desert, if he is indeed a true monk. Thus, St. Anthony acted upon these words and pursued his monastic abode in the inner desert, and thus, became a great monk. Your fianc needs to make a final decision rather than wasting time for both of you. It is not fair to have you waiting around and making plans while he is still thinking, but remains indecisive. Monasticism or any kind of religious consecration is a deeply felt desire to relinquish everything for the perpetual devotion and service to Christ. There is no worldly, familial, social, or monetary enticement to sway one from this call.

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