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Could you please show me how to overcome the spirit of anger that is controlling me.
I have been trialed severely over the past 12 months and have finally come to learn the true meaning of struggle and trials and tribulations that the Lord allows, even if it is at the expense of watching a loved one suffer or even die. It is not because God is evil or even because we are evil, but because evil has entered into the world, and it is our battle to withstand it and hold on to the Lord. As part of rebuilding and efforts of regaining my peace, I came across one of the many fruits of struggle, which is self-examination, and I saw it as an opportunity to learn and improve. I found that I do hold grudges. It is not about road rage or the need to belittle and beat down a mistaken fellow human who erred and kindly came and apologized. Attributing it totally to the upbringing of my loving parents, they never taught us to hate or seek revenge, but always to live peacefully and lovingly with all men and ALWAYS forgive an apologizing brother or sister. I am referring to someone who constantly makes it a mission to hurt me, never listens to apologies or opinions (even when I know in my heart I did nothing wrong), and utilizing all forms of mental and emotional blackmail to make my life difficult. When it is a stranger, it easy to walk away and pray for them. When it is someone close to you, like a relative that will always be in your life, it is more difficult to handle. I understand the Christian ideal of always forgiving others as Christ did on the cross, but the pain caused by this person, and continues to do so, is excessive, irreversible, and constant. The wounds are so deep that forgiving is very difficult.
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