Coptic Orthodox Diocese of the Southern United States
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For so long, the way I dealt with things was to over analyze everything until it drove me crazy and I had to escape from myself. I've done this so successfully that I've blocked my memory; I do this because I just don't want to think anymore and I don't want to deal with problems. I have developed an illness linked to stress; and after my heartbreak, I just decided to shut down. Only recently have I realized that this 'shutting-down' is making me spiritually paralyzed. I no longer give myself time to reflect; and therefore I cannot be baptized by the tears of repentance. I've gone from wanting to be involved in church services to no longer attending servants prep, not gaining anything from the topics in youth meeting. I feel like I want God to shake me, to somehow move me from this hole I've dug for myself.

I am glad you started to realize how you are hurting your own self. To analyze matters; then try to escape from difficulties is never a solution. You are now at the beginning of the right track which is identifying your problem and resolving to deal with it. The important thing is not just to identify it; but to take action. Everything really depends on the spirit with which you face difficulties. Shutting down as you have been doing will take you nowhere. Spiritual paralysis is not when you fall into sin or give in to temptation; it is failing to get back up after the fall. If you trust in the Lord and submit to His will; He will carry you on eagle's wings and you will not feel hurt. God is shaking you; He is telling you enough is enough, return to Me. Pray asking the Lord to help you be firm in changing your life style. Do not give excuses and do not procrastinate. Now is the time to take action and be more proactive
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