Coptic Orthodox Diocese of the Southern United States
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I have a problem with the leader of a specific service in the churches in a particular state and so do a lot of us; Every time we are engaged in the service, she does something to bother us and we start to talking about it. I feel like I am sinning every time I go do a service, so the blessing goes to waste. Should I stop the service to escape from gossiping? I am obviously not strong enough to defeat the devil. I also have to deal with her out of church on a daily basis. I do not want to stop the service, but what other choice do I have?

Relationships are not stationary. They are always in a state of development and fluctuation and do take time to become strong and have the ability to withstand trivial complaints and difficult times. Because you have a dual relationship with this young servant leader, it could make things a bit more complicated. Try to keep the issues separated. She is your roommate and she is also a co-servant. You should respect the boundaries afforded by each of these situations. Be considerate and do not undermine her role and responsibilities. If there is something that needs to be said regarding the service, speak to her directly and honestly, but let your speech be 'salted' with grace. When you express yourself directly to the person with whom you may have a conflict, you will be less likely to vent to others, which has the potential to quickly turn into gossip and escalate more misunderstandings. Help to build each other up rather than tearing each other apart. When there are different perspectives, learn to yield when you can, be respectful when you can't, and strive to be fair and objective at all times.

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