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A couple will be celebrating their marriage next month, God willing.  As the wedding approaches, more and more discussions about dancing arise. I have been told that the priest of our church has forbidden dancing at weddings, claiming that any servant that dances should no longer serve (although servants still dance and serve).

I used to live in a Middle Eastern country till my mid teens. I have never been told that dancing is wrong in any way. The thought of dancing being wrong has never crossed my mind. I came to North America with this same mentality, but as I went to pre-servants class, my servants introduced me to this way of thinking and I was convinced that I should avoid dancing.  The bride-to-be is also convinced, as is the groom-to-be.

However, the parents do not agree. In fact, they think the couple is very close-minded and that by not dancing, we give the impression that the Coptic Church is very harsh. Our parents say that people like us are the ones that make the youth leave the Church. Both my parents are Christians (my mom was baptized in both the Coptic Church and in the Catholic church), but they do not go to our Church. So, I understand that their mentality has not changed since we came to North America.

My sister, her fiancé, and I are against having dancing at the wedding but our parents are giving us a hard time. We have endless conversations that usually end in fighting. My mom makes us feel guilty by telling us: (1) People will get bored at the wedding and will make fun of how we are close-minded. She even considered not inviting her friends so they do not make fun of us. (2) She says what is the point of having a huge reception hall if we are only inviting people to eat and leave? (3) She says she will not be able to enjoy the wedding or express her joy and because she will be mad at my sister during the wedding.

My mom used to be a teacher and she organized school dances for all ages where the parents would watch their kids perform every year. I see where she is coming from. She agrees that some moves could lead to temptation but that not all types of dancing are wrong. When we explain our point of view, that is, we should not be a stumbling block to others, she answers the following: By having a big reception hall, you are being a stumbling block to your friends that cannot afford having this, by being in a relationship and getting married you are making jealous the single people, etc., and that we are being a stumbling block in so many ways. Why then do we mind dancing and not the rest?

I came from a culture where dancing was never an issue. The decision of not dancing was a very hard decision that I took because I used to enjoy dancing. But having her discuss it often makes me think about it more and more. I also fear that my decision was taken because I seek personal glory, or because I want to show that I am godly and that I obey the Church and not to glorify God.

If your sister and her fiancé are sincere about these convictions of no dancing at their wedding reception, then they should stick to their principles. Making spiritually sound choices are often unpopular with many people and stir up many futile questions and discussions, which lead to wrong conclusions. Developing Christian principles are not the reason why people are not attending churches that teach conservative and spiritual practices. Rather, people search for excuses to satisfy their desires (2 Timothy 3:1-5). Disagreements with parents about many issues are obviously inevitable, but regardless of the age of the adult child, respect and honor of parents are a must. There are many ways to have a refined and enjoyable wedding without dancing. Encourage them to discuss several alternatives that would be appeasing to everyone. In the end, your parents will probably come around and accept their decision as to what is right for them.